The Nature GM

You might find yourself immersed in holly and jolly and festive folly; surrounded by sweets, and treats, and candied beets; positively ambushed by nights of lights and starry delights; and you think to yourself—

Why, I ought to run a Christmas session. It should probably rhyme, too.

I purchased the adventure How the Lich Stole Christmas by Wizard Sleeve Studios a few years ago and rewrote… virtually all of it, especially after the first two chapters. The custom monsters in the original have been entirely replaced with monsters from Flee Mortals! by MCDM.

I may be wrong, but I do not think a lich would kidnap children to force them to make wooden toys, as he does in the original version. Surely a lich must have better things to do; and anyway, what would he feed them?

I also revised all of the poems, too, because meter matters. (The angel Gabe’s are intentionally awkward. He is an intern, or a PFY, if you prefer.)

Here is my version of How the Lich Stole Christmas. Please enjoy.

Background

Why are the characters here?
They were brought by the angel Gabe as part of his internship project.

Version A

Who is the lich?
A lich named Grinfried Smallhart.

Why did he steal Christmas?
He stole the town statue of Randolf the ruby-nosed deer because it is a relic that casts the spell Levitation, and he wants to put the statue in his sleigh to make travel more convenient. He has no interest whatsoever in the town or its people.

Version B

Who is the lich?
A pair of devil clerks, one standing on the other, wearing a long red robe and a wax mask. The one on top goes by McCallister, and the other goes by McClane. They are disguised as a lich to dissuade anyone from interrupting them.

(Yes, the names are from Home Alone and Die Hard, two classic Christmas movies.)

Why did he steal Christmas?
They stole the town statue of Randolf the ruby-nosed deer because it is a relic that casts the spell Levitation, and they want to put the statue in their sleigh to make travel more convenient. They have little interest in the town or its people and are looking for a more populous location to establish themselves.

Prologue

You are dreaming. In your dream you see a vast expanse of snow under the night sky. You hear a voice very close to you which says:

You’re a foul one, Mr. Lich,
Your flesh smells like decay.
For the crimes you have committed,
There’ll be a price to pay
When the heroes come to save our Christmas Day.

You open your eyes and find yourselves in a field of snow, a village some ways off in the distance. You are bitterly cold, and your body is shocked by the abrupt jump from [wherever they were before] to wherever you are now. As you stand up and take stock of your situation, you realize that you are no longer in [whatever realm they hail from].

[Give players a chance to react to the scene.]

Behind you someone coughs, and that’s when you notice an angel standing on top of the snow next to you, holding a big burlap sack. “Hey,” the angel says. He pulls out a roll of parchment and reads off:

“I am the angel intern Gabe, and I have brought you all here
Because something bad happened in the village and you must restore the cheer.
It’s the night before Christmas (um, don’t worry what that is) and a wrong must be set right
Unless I’m quite mistaken it will come down to a fight.
So you don’t die too easily I have some goodies for you
You can’t take them back home because they’ll melt once you’re through.”

The goodies (adjust as needed for your party):

• Warm wool and fur garments
• (1 per character) bottles with screw-off lids that give +30 to base HP/8 hours (Nog Saver)
• Rod made of striped blue and dark blue candy that casts Fireball 3/day (Burnberry Rod)
• (2) +2 magic hand axes, one made of red hard candy and the other made of green (Naughty and Nice, respectively)
• +2 magic longsword made of red and white striped candy (Peppermint Death)
• +2 magic dagger made of black sticky candy (Sticorice)
• Circlet of small gummy candies that gives a +2 to spell save DC (Spelldrop Crown)
• Small box with a wind-up lever and a star painted on each side (Deus de Automaton) Inscription: You’ll know when to use it. (Casts the Wish spell once)

Chapter 1: The Un-Festive Town

You walk towards the village, which is probably about a hundred or so buildings. You pass a painted sign that says “Whovale”. In the town square is a large empty pedestal where a statue would normally be mounted.

[Clear throat] Approaching the village on a cold winter night,
Expecting the rapture of holiday delight.
The buildings were covered by a blanket of snow,
But something was missing, the spirits seemed low.
No children were playing, no lights had been hung,
No trees decked with tinsel, no songs being sung.

The only building with any lights on is an inn. As the characters enter, they immediately notice that the mood in the inn is quite bleak. The flames in the fireplace have nearly gone out. A few candles and lanterns provide dim lighting. There are a dozen or so people scattered around the main room, picking at cold food or drinking ale and wine.

Inside the feeling was in no way improved.
The patrons were quiet, hardly anyone moved.
The group asked at the bar, “What’s going on?”
The bartender frowned, “Our joy is all gone.
“Our reindeer statue has been taken away
“By a being most foul, who loathes Christmas day.”

The bar patrons know the following:

• The reindeer statue which stood at the center of town was pulled away by a team of kobolds in red caps the previous night.
• The tracks led up towards the mountains at the edge of town, but a heavy snowstorm has obscured the trail.
• There have been rumors of a lich in the surrounding region. The villagers are convinced that the lich commanded the kobolds to steal their statue. They cannot provide any justification for thinking this.
• The statue is of Randolf the ruby-nosed reindeer. It has been in the town as long as anyone can remember and is a symbol of the Christmas holiday.

[After waiting a reasonable amount of time for the players to question the villagers:]

The door flew wide open, in blew the cold.
A young girl stepped in, red-faced and bold.
“I have seen the bad things; I know where they are!
Inside of the mountain; it isn’t too far.
Hello strangers, you look quite brave.
Would you please save our reindeer held in the cave?”

The girl had been playing outside and noticed strange lights coming from a cave not too far from town. Curious, she ventured a little closer, but she saw a “creepy snowman”, got nervous, and ran back to town. She can adequately point out the location of the cave.

Chapter 2: Up The Mountain

The party can easily find the trail up the mountain with no ability checks, following the directions of the girl. As they get halfway up the mountain, it begins to snow and the trail becomes steeper. The trail becomes difficult terrain, and the characters must spend twice their usual movement to trek through the snow and wind.

The trail up the mountain was hard, cold, and steep,
The snow from the storm was nearly knee deep.
Then without warning you were faced with ice
Formed into a man who was clearly not nice.
You’d reached the snowman the girl had described
And saw right away there was death in its eyes.

One crux of frost imitating the lich attacks!

Crux of frost MO (AC 15, HP 105):

1. Start a Frost Squall, Rimeglass Touch on two party members, and Frosted Reflection on whoever is closest.
   • Frost Squall: Frost swirls for 1 min. Creature who starts turn w/in 15ft of the crux speed reduced to 15ft until turn end. The first time they willingly move before the start of their next turn, they take 2d6 cold damage.
   • Rimeglass Touch (x2): +7 to hit, 5-60ft, 2d8+4 cold damage, and target can’t see or hear creatures except itself and the crux until the start of the crux’s next turn.
   • Frosted Reflection: Reflects the appearance of a creature. The illusion lasts until the crux takes thunder damage, uses this action again, or is incapacitated. The crux knows any languages the reflected creature knows.
2. Continue Rimeglass Touch and It Stares Back on whoever it is reflecting.
   • It Stares Back (Recharge 5–6): The crux imposes fragility on a creature w/in 60ft who is reflected by Frosted Reflection. If target can see the crux, DC15 WIS save; frightened 1 min, when take damage take extra 2d10 psychic. Repeat save at end of turn. On save, not frightened and immune to feature.

Chapter 3: The Cave of Kobolds

As the party ascends further, they come to the gaping mouth of a cave in the side of the mountain. They hear the sound of voices and movement coming from within the cave. The cave entrance is being guarded by two kobold legionaries, each wearing a red hat and carrying a small shield. The kobolds will raise the alarm if they see anyone approach, which causes all the kobolds to swarm down to attack and also alerts the lich.

The red hats allow the lich (or McAllister) to read the wearer’s thoughts.

The cave itself is dimly lit by torches hanging on the walls. There are some assorted tools, food scraps, bedrolls, and a small campfire near the cave entrance. As the party ventures through the tunnel leading deeper into the cave, the sounds of activity grow louder.

The tunnel leads down to a cavernous hall
Where a bronze reindeer statue stands ‘gainst the wall.
In the midst of the room sits a large wooden sleigh
And a few more kodolds are blocking the way.
They seemed to be lifting the statue of up high
But what was the reason—well, you’ll soon see why.

The kobolds are trying to lift the statue and place it in the sleigh, but they keep losing their grip, slipping, etc. and dropping it.

The room contains 6 kobold legionaries and 1 kobold centurion (minus the number that rushed out earlier, if any).

The cavern narrows down and continues further, to where the lich is holed up. After a couple rounds of audible combat, the lich comes into the room to make the noise stop.

Chapter 4: The Lich (Version A)

If the characters manage to kill all of the kobold guards without making any significant noise or putting on any caps, then they can enter the smaller cavern at the back of the hall:

The tunnel continues at the back of the hall
Leading to a chamber far more small.
Inside stands a figure robed in red—
I say it’s a lich! With a long cap on his head!
He lets out a sigh and sets down his book
Then raises his hands and gives a mean look.
Your weapons are ready; you’re prepared for a fight
With luck and some planning you won’t die tonight.

More than likely the lich interrupts the combat with the kobolds:

The battle continues; you’re doing quite well
You outmatch the kobolds, and they can tell.
Then enters a figure robed in red—
I say it’s a lich! With a long cap on his head!
He lets out a sigh and sets down his book
Then raises his hands and gives a mean look.
Your weapons are ready; you’re prepared for a fight
With luck and some planning you won’t die tonight.

Lich MO (using the default 5e lich rather than the cooler and significantly deadlier Flee Mortals! one):

1. Does not attack or acknowledge non-wizards casters, who are beneath him
2. Disables strongest characters first
3. Casts Cloudkill on as many as possible
4. Casts Dominate Monster on the strongest character
5. Casts Blight on anyone still unaffected
6. Uses Dimension Door to exit if sufficiently inconvenienced (see below)

The lich pauses in the open, glowing doorway:

“You aren’t the heroes I expected to see!
Something foul’s afoot, when it ought to be me!
I’ll get you next time, and you’ll rue the day
When you stopped a lich taking Christmas away!”

The lich steps into the glowing doorway, which closes up behind him. You are all alone in the cave.

Chapter 4: The Lich (Version B)

If the characters manage to kill all of the kobold guards without making any significant noise or putting on any caps, then they can enter the smaller cavern at the back of the hall:

The tunnel continues at the back of the hall
Leading to a chamber far more small.
Inside stands a figure robed in red—
I say it’s a lich! With a long cap on his head!
His features are stiff, his face is pale;
He pulls out a wand and gives a yell.
Your weapons are ready; you’re prepared for a fight
With luck and some planning you won’t die tonight.

More than likely the lich interrupts the combat with the kobolds:

The battle continues; you’re doing quite well
You outmatch the kobolds, and they can tell.
Then enters a figure robed in red—
I say it’s a lich! With a long cap on his head!
His features are stiff, his face is pale;
He pulls out a wand and gives a yell.
Your weapons are ready; you’re prepared for a fight
With luck and some planning you won’t die tonight.

McCallister and McClane MO (AC 16, HP 96; Devilish Charm for McCallister only, DC15):

1. McCallister uses the wand to cast Wave of Death. At the end of the round McClane rips open the robe (action), revealing that the lich is actually two short devils in a Santa coat.
   • Wave of Death: 60ft radius, DC16 CON or 4d8 necrotic damage, save halves. On failed save, next attack deals half damage.
2. McCallister pulls off his mask and jumps down. Both make one Fire & Brimstone attack, and McClane only does Ashes to Ashes on a target with a festering wound.
   • Fire & Brimstone: 5-60ft, one target, +7 to hit, 3d8+4 fire damage, and DC15 CON or develop a festering wound. 2 fire damage per festering wound at turn start.
   • Ashes to Ashes: BA, target’s festering wound ignites dealing 5 fire damage.
3. McCallister breaks the wand, causing it to explode and deal 5d6 fire damage in a 10ft radius (DC15 DEX to half). McClane continues with Fire & Brimstone and Ashes to Ashes.
4. When only one devil clerk remains, he pulls out a spell scroll for Banishment (see below)

The squat devil pauses and glowers at you:

“You’ve ruined our fun, and home I now go!
But I’ve caught your scent out here in the snow.
I’ll get you next time, and you’ll rue the day
When you stopped two devils taking Christmas away!”

The devil reads off a spell and targets himself, vanishing with a flash and a puff of sulfur.

Chapter 5: Down the Mountain

After the lich has been ‘defeated’ the angel Gabe materializes in the air. “Woah,” he says. “That was effing WILD. Oh—I mean—” He pulls out another scroll of parchment.

“You’ve done it, heroes! You saved the reindeer
Statue which should always belong here.
Now hurry up! Your time is at hand:
You’re almost ready to leave this land.
You must set the statue on its pedestal stone,
Then I’ll toss you all back to your [adjective] home.”

The kobolds had installed straps inside the front of the sleigh for the Randolf statue. If the statue is placed in the sleigh, the ruby nose lights up and the sleigh begins to levitate.

You set down the reindeer upon the sleigh
The nose glowing red to light up the way.
The sleigh gives a shudder and lifts in the air
You now have a magical ride (if you dare).

[Pause to give characters the chance to get inside the sleigh.]

There’s no safety belts and the steering looks wide,
But that doesn’t stop you from hopping inside.
Down the mountain you rush, with stars all around
Wind blowing your hair, your rails off the ground.
You fly in a circle ‘round the village so sweet
The people all look up and shout out “How neat!”
You bring down the sleigh to the small village square
Randolf the reindeer has guided you there.

The villagers are overjoyed at the return of their reindeer. They excitedly bring out garlands and ribbons and candles and set them up all around the square. Then the whole village gets in a big circle around the statue, holds hands, and starts to sing.

Epilogue

Gabe materializes next to you again. He looks very happy.

You all did great! You saved Christmas day!
And I most likely passed my internship—yay!
I can’t thank you enough—oh, now your weapons will melt.
I’ll send you back now to the place where you dwelt.

Gabe raises his hands, and you are bathed in a warm light. After a moment you open your eyes and find yourself back [wherever they were before this session]. Each of you finds a tiny snowflake pin on your tunic.

The End.

Player Reception

I have run this adventure twice, once per version with two different groups. Both times the adventure was enjoyed for what it is: a silly, Christmas-themed railroad trip. Player agency is low in this one, but I think it is still enjoyable because it is such a tonal shift from our normal games, and they want to see what happens.

I cannot get anyone to put on a kobold cap. It obviously is not tempting enough.

Neither group needed the Deus de Automaton item. I think they would have if they knew what it did, but they never became desperate enough to try it blindly. I have mentioned elsewhere that my players tend to be risk-adverse.

Gabe is generally a crowd-pleaser. As is the flying reindeer statue. Both of these are entirely my creation.

If you run this adventure, let me know if you get anyone to put on a cap, and if you succeed in exploiting the resulting telepathy.

Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!